No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
