Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
