After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
