so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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