you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
