I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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