Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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