Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
