Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
