Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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