Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
