You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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