last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
