After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
