I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
