OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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