yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
