I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
