If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
