a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
