lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
