I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You have to summon your inner elephant
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
