apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
