We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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