watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
