Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
