just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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