it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
