I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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