You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
