Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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