he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
