my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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