dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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