we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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