five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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