What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
