Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
