Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
