I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize