More tranny stories later!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I would ride that face into the sunset
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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