Pappa wants mamma naked
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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