But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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