dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
