You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
