his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize