it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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