you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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