I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
