It's just like the Real World with babies
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
