I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
