Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
