My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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