I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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