East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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