I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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