you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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