if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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